Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Final: I Miss you, I am frustrated

Over the years I’ve lived many regrets and I’ve said this many times before to many people. But no matter how many times I’ve said it, I’ve never mentioned what the regrets were. At the top of the list is you. You are single-handedly the most frustrating, naive yet beautiful and kind person I’ve met.
You’re frustrating because you’re someone I’ve pursued for 10 years of my life. 7 years of that life, I’ve timidly tried to love you in the ways I could. From trying to listen to you, to helping you with your school work (PW do you remember?) or trying to correct your essays. I do admit that I’ve wasted much of that 7 years quarrelling, fighting and ignoring you and for that, I am frustrated. Before you get angry, please hear me out
 You are frustrating because I know deep down in my heart you are the one. And as much as I knew, I know as well that our paths would never cross again. And because of that, I am frustrated. Over the years I’ve prayed countless prayers and on more than one occasion questioned whether God exist. Because of that, I’m frustrated. What gets to me is not the prayers or the timid nature of who I am, but how I had no courage to confess to you. If I really love such an amazing girl, surely I have the courage to tell her. But no, that was never the case… Because before I sleep each night, I will return to the time when we were 18: you asked me then, between calvin and leung who should you pick. If at that moment I said “I love you” with every fibre of my being, and with every pulsating emotion in my heart, would you have then listened to me? Would today be different and history and future changed? I am frustrated because I did not have the courage to ever tell you how much I love you. I can whine and complain to the people around me, but I knew I always had the opportunity. That is why I am frustrated because I am the captain of my soul and the master of my destiny and unfortunately on this case, I’ve failed.
You are frustrating because you remind me of who I was. I wished we were an amazing couple but we both know we weren’t. And that is why I am frustrated because I knew I did not treasure an amazing girl. I wish we did not abuse ourselves, or fought over petty stuff. I wish I did not make lustful mistakes or got jealous over stupid things. I wish I gave you more space and loved you quietly more than my words would suggest. I wish I did not say “I love you” for nothing, and treasured each word as if I knew on hindsight how I would never get to say it again. And more importantly, I wish I hugged you closer, tighter and whispered to you how much I missed you. Because these are things today that I’ll never get to do or say and for that, I am so frustrated. I wished… I wished and I wished...
But it is not only the things that I’ve took for granted or the actions I regret. I am frustrated because these are things I want to do. The first thing I wanted to do when I met you in church 3 weeks ago when I came back from USA was to hug you. I ignored you when you said “Hi” but I knew my heart wanted me to put my arms around you and tell you how much I’ve missed you. I wanted to tell you how the whole journey was and all I did in US. I wanted to tell you how I’ve never looked at another girl or showed any interest in them. I wanted to tell you how I’ve studied really hard and made every effort to exercise to show you how I’m so determine to show a better side of myself to you. I wanted to tell you how I’m a perfect cap student with a dean’s list because I wanted to work for our future and for us. Even to smaller things, like how the weather is and how cold I am during the winter. I wish you would tell me to keep warm, or hug me or warm my hands for me. But I can’t tell you all that because it is all too late. It is all too late.. For all that, I am so frustrated.
I am frustrated because I’ve lied to you again. When you ask me whether I’ve found someone I’m interested in, I said “yes”. But I lied because I didn’t want to seem like a loser to you. But no, I’ve not found anyone. Even in USA, I only thought about you and on many occasions wondered what you were doing at different times of the day. I thought about your smile, and on Sundays thought about you on stage. When I came back to Singapore, when I landed and was at Changi Airport, I thought about how perfect my life would be if you were there waiting for me instead of my family. I wanted you near me, and yes God, I’m selfish but I really wanted you by my side and I couldn’t wait to see you.
So what do I like about you? Your heart. You make me happy and I realise despite how I always tease you nowadays, I’m so happy when I’m around you. Small little actions from you make my day: cleaning my glasses during debrief after E2, letting me put my DW watch over your wrist.. etc. It seems so weird, like you’re an obsession. But I know fairly well that you’re not an obsession; you’re the person I love the most. Why? Because no matter how much I love you, I know that I am happy knowing you’re happy. And that is why I always wanted to ask: Are you happy? Even if it makes me sad to know the truth it comforts me knowing you’re happier and someone else can provide you the happiness I couldn’t.
                One of the greatest lessons I’ve learnt over the years is that sometimes, we do not give up on people because we feel we are dependable on them. We feel like our world will crash, or that things will start going downhill. But you know, I wish I could tell you how low I was at my lowest period in life. I wish I could tell you how sad I was and how broken and useless I felt. But we journeyed on different paths and met many different people. You’re now a very amazing girl with many friends and highly respected in church while I have a lot of catching up to do. So I didn’t give up not because I felt I am dependable on you.. I slowly realized it is because I really loved you and that made me frustrated, not being able to give up.
                So I tried many different things. Deleted you off facebook and ignoring you was all I could do. But I really wondered why you kept adding me back and I asked God many times why this was happening. I wish I knew but come Friday when I leave, I’m going to delete again. If panadol is ever a medicine for headache, this is probably mine for my heart.
Despite all the frustrations, and this I am very sure… I have no regrets meeting you. Despite it all, and despite all the tears I’ve shed, I’m so happy to have met you. I will always miss the first time I held your hand in class 1A under the table. I’ve never told you - even when we were together - but that moment when I held your hand, It felt so magical. It made my heart pulsate and when I closed my eyes and rested on the table, I only felt the warm touch of your hands. That was when I knew that you are an amazing girl and I will always remember warming your hands when you are cold and resting on your shoulders when I was tired. I will always remember your kisses and your hugs to me late at night. I will always remember your encouragements to me and how I’m always a good pianist to you. You are special to me and I want you to know that..
But despite being frustrated, I’m glad. Why? Because you’ve turned out to be such an amazing lady and I’m so proud everytime I see you. On Christmas 25th December 2015, when you sang on stage “No Other Name”, it was the first time I’ve ever cried in that sanctuary. I prayed at that moment to God.. Please, for just one moment or one day let us be together. But I knew that prayer was wrong, and everything about it was wrong. But you know… I wouldn’t mind if people criticized me, called me names or said I was self-righteous. I would take all that and take everything in just to be with you. But I’m so glad that despite our rough relationship, you’ve found your place and eventually got baptized. I wanted so desperately to attend your baptism, but I felt as well that I had no place to be there for I contributed nothing to your life.
So Charlene Choe Tze Yi, one day in future, if you do read this or if at any point of time you feel low or you feel sad or unloved, I want you to remember that you’re beautiful and kind. And it is not true that nobody loves you because a silly and foolish guy when he was 13 years old fell in love with you. And he spent the next 10 years pursuing your heart. Although at the end of the day I failed, I still want you to remember that it is not true –not at all – that you are not loved. You stole my heart 10 years ago, and today, you still do. I love you; then and today. If I had a wish granted, I would want to hug you right now and tell you how much I love you. 


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